Human behavior is a fascinating thing to watch and try to understand. How people respond to external influences such as parents, peers, siblings and even strangers. I have been watching this show on the A&E channel called “Intervention”. I am sure you can imagine what the show is about just by reading the title but let me give some more explanation. Each episode begins by introducing the addict and explains to the viewer what their addiction is. We have seen alcoholics, meth, cocaine, heroin, prescription pills, aerosol spray and even people with eating disorders. The show unfolds and there is ALWAYS a reason for the addiction. No I am not saying excuse, I am saying reason. In some cases it is one single traumatic event, other times it is a series of ongoing abusive situations that cause the person to turn to a chemical release from their internal agony. Some cases, though, are what seem to be small events over time that add up to the person being in such turmoil they also turn to some fort of relief from their own struggle with life. Each and every addict that has been on the show, all the triggers and tragedy have occurred in childhood. Each and every single situation has been a direct result of something in their childhood. Something as small as being in a Christian home and town and being homosexual to growing up watching your mother be beaten by your father day in and out can lead these people down a very destructive path when they grow up. They are all running away from, burying, hiding and trying to destroy their own self to get an escape when they begin their destructive behaviors and eventually the drugs take over and they are now a victim to the chemical.

This show makes me think about my children and my relationship with them. I think about how our minds and emotional health develop and mature and really just how fragile children are. I also see the same pattern in these drug addicts that we also see in food addicts. That, to me, was fascinating to connect. The voice inside of you which drives you to eat the foods you know are not on your current “diet” but the pull to eat them is very strong. How many of you can hear Oreos or chips if they are in the cupboard? How many of you have an emotional trigger from certain foods and you just love them even though you know they will not allow you to lose weight. Sure some people are thinking “Ok my mom’s apple pie is fine for me to eat, Moe. I am not an addict” and you are most likely right. There are others who know I mean a deeper draw to food than just a fond memory of apple pie scent and warm crust. I am talking about almost the blind eating we can do when we have that certain food or even group of foods that trigger our food addiction. So, this leads me to think….where did the food addiction begin? For me, and for you, what started it? I know my childhood events and really at times I feel it is nothing short of a miracle to not have been a featured person on Intervention. I am lucky that I am not and my path took a different turn when I was just 16 years old. Though, that is the same age where my relationship with food really began. I would starve, I would binge I would exercise till 2 in the morning. I have done almost every diet and have tried every junk food that came near my mouth. I have eaten in private and hid the food wrappers. I have felt shame from not being able to control my urge to eat the foods I have eaten and I have purged food out of guilt as well.

Internally, that is where my work is. It has nothing to do with the food or the diet I pick or the exercise because if I do not work on myself internally then I will still be fighting an addiction to something vs. curing my own emotional response. I needed to stop the self abusive pattern with food and diet and learn to address the injuries of my past. Is that where you are? Are you in denial of a food addiction and still believe you just have no will power or that there is something wrong with you? Do you look for food as an escape from something? I know when I am deeply stressed I still want to eat junk food for that chemical reaction in my body and if I had all I could eat dangerous amounts of donuts could be devoured. Sounds funny when worded that way but thinking logically about it…..that is an addiction. So I am asking you..if you have an emotional reaction to food that HAS and IS holding you from your fitness and health are you possibly fighting an addiction alone?

Here are a few none and listed symptoms of food addiction.
• Obsessed with thoughts about food.
• Eats to relieve worry or stress.
• Feels anxious while eating.
• Worries or feels anxious while eating which results in more eating.
• Feels guilty when they overeat.
• Hides food so they can eat in secret away from other people.
• Goes on a food binge after dieting or after trying to cut back.
• Sees food as something to be avoided or as harmful.


If you feel any of this applies to you I would encourage you to seek counseling and support to get to the heart of the matter. You can be free from your internal dialogue of guilt and anger and self abuse. You can find a way to be happy and healthy and stop struggling with food every time you open the fridge or head to the super market.

I am an email away if you want or need to talk to someone about anything.

Ok! So the water is falling off my body now with the return to clean eating and a.....D-I-E-T.
I am hungry today so extra fat will be swallowed to prevent the carb cravings that usually follow me around.
Heavy DL is tonight rather than last night. I ended up on a road trip to pick up some reserve copies of Squeaky Gourmet to ship out. I was asked to take pictures of me near the book ( ok holding it I am sure) and I will post those later today as well!

I have some serious injury thing in my right wrist and arm right now. I am not sure how heavy the DL will be tonight but I will try my hardest for pulling up those 3 plates off the floor again.

Biggest Loser is on tonight!! WOOOHOO...I love that show!

So today is day one of stop gaining any weight ;)
I had a fantastic summer "cut" and when I lost the amount of fat and wore the size of clothing I wanted to wear I moved to maintenance calories. Ok, but I forgot that maintenance is still tracking, counting and making sure my energy input ( eating) matches the energy used by my body. So, I have gained back a few pounds, nothing major. However it is so crucial to make sure I keep these pounds in check and not let them get too far ahead of me. I do not want to sit there with 20 pounds I have to lose AGAIN.

So, today I am buckled back in to a diet for a little bit and then when I move back to maintenance I will TRACK MY INPUT VS OUTPUT!!!

My family has been toying with the idea of becoming "gluten free" in our kitchen. We have a history of celiac disease in the family as well as autism under our roof. There has been such great information out there now on the effects of wheat on the digestive tract and what it does to the body when the body says " No thank you" to wheat but you eat it anyway.

However, gluten free is EXPENSIVE! I have 5 kids to feed , bills to pay and hello we all know what our economy is right now so I decided to do some research on how to go gluten free and not go broke making cookies. We have an international market near my house. Lucky Star in Somersworth NH. When you go there it is seemingly a hole in the wall store. The enter door is on the left, the exit door on the right . The electric door has a sign that says "door moves slow PUSH HARD" and boy they are not kidding...it does not move. When you go in the store you see a lot of boxes cluttered about, ninja gear for those times you engage in mortal combat ( which seems to be more common than I originally thought judging by their array of weapons) Walking around the corner past the weapons and soda bottles which have symbols as labels and no English translation you are greeted with the produce section.
Avocados as big as my 4 yr old's head-.99 cents each. (the fruit not the 4 yr old) 20lb bags of basmatti, jasmine, red and brown rices all under $10. This same rice is over $2 a pound at the grocery market. They also sell for pennies on the dollar all the ingredients for making gluten free baking flour. Rice flours, tapioca flour etc. All for literally dollars on the pound less expensive than the market place I normally shop at.

While I was there i also bought a 5 pound bag of raw peanuts for $5, smoked eel to see if Mr G will eat it (he did, it smelled like canned cat food to me though so I was not impressed) coconut spread which tastes like macaroons. No idea what to use it on but it was under $2 for a large jar. It would be fantastic on ice cream ( I am on a diet, on a diet on a diet) or drizzled over a cream pie ( I SAID I AM ON A DIET!!!!).

Anyway, I estimated what would cost us over $25 to buy at the grocery store would cost us under $10 at this international food hole in the wall. I will be going back! I would encourage you to look around your area and see if you may have an international hole to shop in as well. I was excited for new food ideas and the possibility of saving considerable money while shifting to gluten free fare. I also need to learn several different languages before I am tricked to buy bird spit soda again. Yes, we bought soda and tasted it only to find out..it has bird spit in it.
It is called Bird's Nest and well..I did not think it had BIRD NEST in it....this reminds me of when I was a young girl and ate head cheese when my father offered it. I thought it was just cheese....my parents still laugh about it and I am still working it out in therapy.

Anyway..here is a gluten free flour recipe you can put together rather easily and spend less money than if you were to buy those specialty boxes of gluten free flour that has enough flour to make a few pancakes but certainly not enough for a Sunday morning breakfast for my army of a family!

Gluten Free Flour
2 cups white (or brown) rice flour

1/3 cup tapioca starch

2/3 cup potato starch (not flour)

1 tsp guar or xantham gum per cup of mix.

oh and just a reminder, gluten free does not mean healthy. Peanut butter cups and nachos are gluten free...as is bird spit soda and head cheese....see my point?

I was talking with a friend of mine about finding our motivation to workout and eat right when we have taken a break from our fitness journey. How do we lose that motivation and how the heck do we get it back? Every spring we begin to plan our diet to make sure we can fit in the summer clothing we are soon to be taking out of our closets. We pinch and poke all the new fat stores we let settle in on us while the winter months let us cover ourselves with wool sweaters and long johns. (Hey I live in New Hampshire, it gets cold..we wear long johns) We start to regret the extra helpings of the comfort foods that warm our souls and bellies during the off season. Wouldn't it be great if we did not have to fear the summer by setting up safeguards NOW before the comfort foods and snow storms become the norm.

Have you gained back some of the weight you have previously worked hard on losing? Have some how lost that motivation to stay the course to a healthier you? Lots of people do. This is a life long commitment in a society that does not embrace or allow a healthy lifestyle. You can't go to a drive-thru and order carrot sticks and a protein enriched salad. You won't find your local fast food offering sweet potato fries or an avocado side dish. You have to make extra time to plan and prepare in this fast paced world and it is easy to back slide. But everyday is a new day and an opportunity to begin anew.

Sometimes you just have to hunker down and plow through the right steps in order to find that motivation you have lost. You may WANT to be motivated right now but you just are not. You may be thinking " Man, I was so excited when I began and i made good strides as well. Why is it so hard to focus like that right now?!?!" I think everyone at some point or another has been in that exact mind set. Some people end up totally giving up and return completely to old life habits and food addictions and others continue to struggle and once again are able to refocus and plug back in. Which one will you be?

Because no matter what you do, how much weight you lose or gain and how many gym trips you skip or do, it was ALWAYS a choice. You can choose to let it all go and return to the unhealthy state you were in or you can just put your effort in to go through the right steps and start your journey again. It is ok to take time and wonder what it is you want for a goal or for a focus but while you are looking for a goal just start with the right steps. Dedicate time to being more active, just 2 times a week to start with. Stop eating the foods you know will do nothing to feed your body the way your body needs to be fed. Pick whole foods over quick processed foods. An apple is just as convenient as a donut. A handful of raw almonds is just as filling as french fries. Don't allow yourself to think you do not have time or opportunity to eat the right foods. So take some steps to make sure your food choices are clean whole foods and you make sure to move your body at least 2 times a week. Who CARES what your long term goal weight is at this time, do not waste time trying to figure it out while you slide further and further back from your initial weight loss success!

So, remember, we all have been there at some point or another. The key to getting back on track is just doing it and stop waiting for the motivation fairy to visit you. Pick healthy whole foods over processed foods and make an effort to move your body at least 2 times this week.

Soon you will feel healthier and your body will be grateful for the exercise and healthy nutrients and you WILL BE MOTIVATED to go further!

Come join the forum and let us know where your motivation is. Do you need a reminder of the right steps? Need to share how fantastic things have been and motivate some others? We are eager to hear from you!
Take No Prisoners Forum

HEY! I have not run off to join a circus act or anything! I have been working hard on the new site design as well as starting up my online coaching program etc. I am going to be "blogging" on my own site now so please change your bookmark settings to this link
Moe's Blog
Hope to see you there!!!

There are about 300 million people in America....almost 200 million are classed as overweight.....of those 1/2 of them are classed as obese...and the number keep rising. Like a flood coming towards you and you can see it and you have a chance to be free from the deadly power of it or you can succumb and be like everybody else...dying from your bad habits.

out of 300 million people 2/3 of them are dying from an outrageous yet preventable epidemic......you realize of those numbers some of them are CHILDREN!!!! CHILDREN!!!!! We are passing on deadly habits to your babies..here son have a cigarette and some beer, your 8 and you deserve it for cleaning your room.....WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!? 10% of our preschoolers are classed as over weight.....our 3-5 yr olds....15% of your pre-teens are fat, 15% of our teens are even fatter....LEAVE THOSE POOR CHILDREN ALONE!! It is so hard growing up normal as it is, then cripple them with a food addiction, lack of physical activity and then blame them for no motivation, slug like behavior and their ADD problems

70% of adult onset diabetes in the United States is attributed to the friggen expanding waist line...Type II kills people.

Americans spend over $33 BILLION each year on weight loss products.....and we are STILL GETTING FATTER! 25% of those same money spending, quick fix seeking Americans admitted to spending NO TIME in physical activity....25%!!!!! 14% of those 25% say they can't recall the last time they MOVED THEIR ASS!!!

Stop killing yourselves, killing your children....there is no such thing as a fat gene..there I said it..THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT!!! We have not changed our gene's in over 100 years yet Obesity is climbing faster than the thermometer on a hot morning in Texas....

I won't be going down that road, my children won't be going down that road....I will fight till the end, i will take no prisoners.....I will win the WAR a battle at a time damn it.....

I received an email from someone who says she wants to loose weight. She started last year on the BFFM path, saw results and then lost motivation. She asked me how it is I keep mine. (waving Hi Pat!)

I thought about it for a while last night. How do I remain on target? Gosh, how do you lose the target at all if you are honestly focused on it? I did not aim at a vague point and just hope to get there..where ever the "there" may be.

Everyday is an opportunity to hit or miss so everyday I can set a goal to hit my target. The human mind is an amazing tool; don't underestimate the power of your thoughts. Anthony Robbins talks about the science of "becoming". Some people will tout the phrase " fake it till ya make it". It is about being in a place mentally that you lead the body where you desire it to go.

What I am trying to say is; there is no magic here. I do not posses something everyone else does not. People who make transformations of their body, or financially or spiritually, none of them hold some key that the world is not permissible to view. it is in your reach, if you reach. You have to reach.....listen to me....you have to reach..not hold up your hand and wait for it to fall into your grasp, it won't happen like that.

Some tips:

Stop the crippling mind set of “I just can’t find my mojo” There is nothing to find, I am not sure why you think it was created elsewhere for you to scoop up. You make it, you create the motivation and fortitude.

Stop setting vague goals like “I want to lose weight” Well, how much weight? How can you work with a goal like that? Lose 4 pounds on a crash diet, BANG goal achieved. Close your eyes and picture who you want to be. Imagine in great detail the body image you want to have. Is it to wear a size smaller? Lose the fat off your thighs? Perhaps it is to wear a slinky black dress to a party and attract the eyes of every eligible man in the room? How will you get to that goal? How will you BECOME that goal?

Start planning: In order to reach this specific goal I need a time frame. I need an approach I can work with and a diet which I can work with. I have mapped all that out in my blog as well.

Check progress: Make sure you are charting progress. Sometimes we lose fat but not weight. We exchange fat numbers on the scale for pounds of muscle. We think all that work was for nothing and we lose focus. Take some measurements, squeeze into some smaller pants and keep trying them on…if you apply it all you will see the changes not reflected in the scale.

Get support. It is great to be held accountable to others and not just our own thoughts. Join a support forum and post your goals, your desires, your struggles….your triumphs. You can join our growing forum at www.yourfitnessjourney.com. We are all waiting to see you!!!

Again, remember there is no magic that you can’t seem to find. You create the motivation each and every day….read again the tips… begin your journey!!!

Putting into a clear Perspective

When you picture losing weight you picture yourself looking good and healthy, perhaps wearing a perfect pair of jeans and turning heads. You go to bed with the full mind set to wake up with the sun and begin your new diet. You feel confident in your idea and you think that this is finally the answers you were looking for. Then, as the sun peeks thru your tightly closed window shades and beams of daytime penetrate your eyelids, you grumble, roll over and hit the snooze button. You know you wanted to work out first thing yet that new fabric softener in the pillow case seems to have you in a trance.

When you finally wake up you have no time to workout at all now. In fact you are running behind and have no time to eat breakfast either. You justify it by saying you will grab something healthy on the way in. Yeah, right. On the way in are traffic jams and red lights you can’t seem to get around. By the time you arrive at the office the donuts from the break room have beckoned you and you cave in. These set off a domino effect and you fall off the diet wagon before you even touched the snooze button; before you even began!

Self sabotage is followed by self abuse and the spiral continues and you never seem to get past the gate. You beat yourself up over and over at your presumed failure and allow yourself pity to consume you. You flip the channels on the TV and see fit thin people everywhere. Some are so eye catching your self talk mutters “God I would kill to look like that!! “ You would?? Funny, from where I am sitting you are killing yourself already and you certainly don’t look like that. So, let’s put it into perspective.

Somewhere in the world a person is lying in bed right now unable to sleep. They toss and turn and replay life over and over in their minds. No, not because they are planning a new diet or failed that day to reach the diet they had planned. Think outside that mindset. Perhaps they cannot sleep because their spouse was diagnosed that day with a terminal disease, or they found out their child will be born with a severe disability. Perhaps they cannot sleep because their soul is in turmoil over something that life gives us no control over at all. Where they are, there are no choices. You cannot will death to not happen to your family and loved ones; you can’t control car accidents and traumatic events which do plague people all over the planet daily. Yet here you sit beating yourself up because you some how could not manage to wake up early?

When you see that food which beckons you, why do you allow the excuse you had no control….or even the excuse you had little control since this “ x,y,z poison” is your weakness? Stop lying, you do have control of your choice to eat it….to over eat it and to sit in your Barcalounger all evening angry at yourself for again not keeping your word to yourself. You wallow and allow yourself the self pity and self destruction to feed into your mind set. Snap the hell out of it, somewhere there is a mother grieving, or a husband dying; families are splitting up all the time left and right and you think the 4 donuts in the break room are the destruction of man kind. HELLO!??!!?

Just put it into perspective and ask yourself why you think saying no to the lasagna your Aunt Marie made is somehow far more difficult than telling your wife you have cancer. Say no thank you, grab an apple and move on from that moment. Stop acting like making the right food choices or time to work out are so mind boggling and emotionally challenging that you would rather remain over weight and out of shape. There is no grey area of torture here, it is black and white. Donut or oatmeal…..hhmm, does not seem to be so life altering when you look at it in this perspective does it??

Make your plan, choose your moments wisely and be conscious of the self talk you offer yourself as an out. Be in the moment and aware of the moments. Don’t hit the snooze and abuse yourself later…jump out of bed in a run and take life on full force! This is your time to be in control, so BE IN CONTROL!!!



~ In loving Memory~
Seamus Charles who should be turning 6 yrs old, I love you baby boy.

I want to thank all of you for the emails as well as the IM's about the forum. Unfortunately Yahoo Web Hosting has really failed to help with customer support in this regard. Our database was some how corrupted and they failed to repair it in a timely manner....ok enough of the soap box!

With the amazing help of our Tech Dept we have launched our own forum as well as website. The web site is still a work in progress but the forum IS BACK!!!! We lost some files and some people will have to register again, but I PROMISE it will be worth it!! Soon we will have chats and the gallery up and running as well....again I am sorry the first one did not workout but here is the new forum!!

Take No Prisoners

Welcome back!!!!!!

WOOOHOOO!!! Who is excited?? Ok, well I am!!!! See you there!!!!